All Hail B-Dubs!!!

Buffalo Effing Wild Wings...

That's my new spot down here y'all. I'm for real, I've gone three times this week, and this was after my 3pm to midnight shift/class.

The first time we went, it was after that cage fight, it was karaoke night, and after my 4th Guinness, I went Simon Cowell on mofos in there and the boys thought it was hilarious. Well after the YardDawgs's game, we all went again....and guess what night it was.

Karae-effing-oke

It's wild, because down here they take it seriously at Buffalo Wild Wings. The words come up on an 80 inch screen, and these Okie chicks really get into it. Trouble is, no one is giving these folks props for stepping onto the mic to destroy their favortie country/pop hits. That's where I come in...

The first "contestant" was your typical Okie chick (think Dixie Chicks mixed with LeAnn Rimes mixed with the year 2002). This girl killed me, because she was doin Keesha Cole and was taking pulls off a Newport in one hand while she belted the song out with the mic in the other. And all her friends were stone silent. So the lone black guy in the back of the joint, stands up out his seat and gave her props..

"Yeah baby, sing that sh*t!"

At this point, her trucker hat, John Deere t-shirt wearing buddies turn around and look at us half in amusement and half in "wait, is he making fun of us?"

"Yo, make me feeeeel that sh*t!" Make me feeeeeel it!!!"

My boys and I are DYING at this point, because the Okie chick hears us, and is trying NOT to screw the song up because of laughing at us.

From then on, as it is now....I'm the B Dub'd Karaoke guy, performing my self-appointed duty of encouraging drunk singers to do their best......dammit.

Weird stuff I've seen recently:

-A guy driving down Reno Blvd with no front grill.......and no HOOD for that matter. Engine was just laying there naked.

-The 50 year old woman who had the 28 year old booty and a silly putty face. I never seen the aftermath of bad plastic surgery before, but lemme tell you, it's effing scary. She made Joan Rivers look like an 18 yr old prom queen. Even worse was the guy handcuffing her in the frozen food section at Walmart. Hey he had to protect his investment...right?

-Arena League....need I say more?

-I don't fit in down here, because I won't rock a do-rag and wifebeater to the Cheesecake Factory.

-Walmart down here has its own zip code

-French Canadians got mad game yo

and that's it for now. Studying for my comprehensive on Wednesday (afterwhich I'll graduate from Air Traffic Basics and start my tower training).

Oh, here's a pic from the game...

Do you know what you're lookin' at?!

Because guess what, as of today I DO!

Go ahead, click on that pic and grab a bottle of Excedrin and see what I'm looking at down here. As expected, the road to CPC is NOT an easy one.....

Yeah, you thought that while you're sippin' Merlot in first class of your flight to Black Urban Crunk Bike Beach Bash Week Retreat in Miami, that flyin that aluminum bird was like pushin' your 08' Camry?! Hell naw man! I have a brand spankin' newfound respect for the men and women that are behind the control sticks and radar screen of our country. So the next time you're wondering why your nap in interrupted by the pilot "goin ova all dem bumps", think twice, and go back to sleep...

Got my first official federal (mom would be proud) money today, so now I can stash it away for my dream vacation at Cedar Rapids!

FINALLY got back to the gym, and the FAA's facility is on par with Gold's, real nice, showers/lockers/ and raquetball (which my homie Jeff says is a "white guy's game").

Going to see the arena football (I know, I know...) game on Saturday. It's the Oklahoma......sorry y'all, I'm laughing so hard I can't type this, so lemme try again.

*Ahem*

It's the Oklahoma YardDawgz against some other team that was probably named by inner-city fifth graders. Can you tailgate for an arena league game? You'll have an answer soon.

*Newsflash*

I finally figured out how SONIC worked....apparently, you're NOT supposed to just walk into the little kitchen in the back of the parking lot and say "Yo, can I order?" , while scaring the manager in the process. That behavior will result in a "can I hep yew?" You have to push a button on the sidewalk to talk to people on the inside.

Effing Genius!!!


GO CELTICS!

Oh HELL Naw!

Got up today around 9, I didn't really sleep too well because I was still broken up from Tuesday's workout. My eyes crack open as I fumble around for the remote, and when I turn it on I hear stories of floods, tornadoes and dead Boy Scouts. To quote the guy on FOX News "Just......just HORRIFIC weather".

Guess where all this sh*t happened........like OVERNIGHT?

Effing Iowa.

Cedar Rapids is underwater apparently. I emailed the good folks at my future tower today and Cedar Rapids (aka "C-Rap" or just "Crap") is now the lost city of Atlantis. Unfortunately, I have two years of this craziness to look forward to, so as far as I'm concerned, I'm living everyday here in OK City like its my last day at Disney. If that's not motivation to get in, do my thing and get checked out, I don't know what is.

In other news and notes, I got a 93% on my 2nd block test. No retakes for me baby! I woulda got 100% if it wasn't for me choking on an answere I ALREADY HAD MARKED CORRECTLY.

Our boy Carl has notified us of some crazy sh*t he's been eating, and so far he's hipped us to not one, but TWO......well....."unique" recipes.

Carl's Chicken:

2 Blueberry (or strawberry, depending which way the wind blows) waffles. Eggo's Preferred.

1 breaded chicken patty

Maple Syrup

Directions: Microwave the chicken patty, toast up the waffles...put some syrup on them summbitches and BAM! Carl's chicken. It's like a McGriddle gone horribly wrong...

Carl's NBA Finals Snack:

Me and Tyrone died when we saw this. Our dude goes to the kitchen, brings out a bag of M&Ms, goes back and gets a jar of peanut butter and a knife. (At this point, me and Ty stop watching the game just to see what the hell he's gonna do with all this). He dips the knife into the peanut butter AND THEN dips it into the bag of M&Ms. Hood candy at its finest!

Hey, go hard or go home right?

Believe it or not the picture above is of a typical Oklahoma city bus stop/oil well. Gas here is like 2$, no lie...if you need a fill up holla at me!

Oklahoma is.....OKAY!

Finally!

Something worth writing about that didn't involve heat or pillbugs! We rolled out to the Lucky Star Casino in El Reno, OK on Saturday for some good ol' fashioned cagefightin'!

The Lucky Star is ran by the Arapaho tribe, who had an awesome event. Man, I was nice n' saucy by the time the first bell rang, but it was just like how you'd see on tv. Lotsa beer, lotsa tatts and lotsa big huge dudes that could knock my head off. There were eight fights in all (for only $25, still can't get over that) and most of them had tapouts. I was suprised at how many local MMA gyms there are in the midwest, and aparrently its big here in OK. Lotsa dudes were under 155, but those guys had the best fights.

The guys I went with had a good time, but when the ring girls started tossing t-shirts, I made it my mission to go cop one. In between the 7th and 8th round, I did my best box-out on some wack dude to claim a "Lucky Star Casino" tee. Yeah it's just a damn t-shirt, but this is nostaliga...no...HISTORY!

Plus, there was a 5$ voucher in that mofo.

And in other news....Celtics, WTF!?! How you gonna blow a 24-point lead like that? Seriously, everytime Doc looks like a competent, championship coach, he gets as lacadasical as his players. The thing is, as a player, he used to go to war with Dominique against the Celtics (Doc was #25)




One more thing, a bit of sad news, some kid has quit already from the class across from us. Maybe it wasn't in his heart to be here, maybe he's young and had something else he wanted to go for. All I know is that I came waaaaaaay too far to screw up anything now, and I hope homeboy made the right decision.

I'm running 3pm to midnight all this week, so I'll give y'all some updates soon.

What I'd Like To Have Right Now.......

So hype for today.

Finally, a worthwhile weekend in the midwest with lots of stuff going on in the city. I passed my re-take with a 93% so now that I have pt. 1 of Air Traffic Basics down, I have part two coming up. We already started looking principles of flight, types of aircraft, etc. I have acquired a new language, where "B" is "Bravo", "A" is "Alpha", and "Z" is "Zulu" (those who know me should now understand this blog's name). I've met countless people down here who have clowned me, and praised me (in the same breath no less) for going to Cedar Rapids. Don't get me wrong, I'm still VERY UPSET AND BUMMED OUT ABOUT BEING SHIPPED TO RUST BELT HELL.

But you know something?

Sometimes in life, we have to go places, and do things we don't want to do to get to where we want to be. No NEED to be. I want this career badly, and I want the reward that comes with it. If the road to CPC (Certified Professional Controller) goes through Cedar F*cking Rapids, then so be it. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. People deep in the game have already told me that I'll only be there (and certified) in about a year's time. Then I can go wherever the ca$h at. I met a guy at happy hour yesterday who worked for DFW (Dallas Fort Worth to you civilians) and he told me that I would come up HUGE at a major hub airport like that (6 figga jigga!). So I've got my sights set on these spots when I leave Cornworld:

1. Texas, either Houston or Dallas. I have a strange love affair with that state, their food, their weather, their women, you name it. Only thing I can't stand about TX is the Cowboys and Bush. I think I can forgive those two transgressions if I move there

2. Florida. Yeah they have hurricanes, and drug dealers and crime and gators and heat and mosquitos, but you know what? Fort Lauderdale Airport would be super silly (not Miami, I still wanna have my sanity). Not to mention EVERYONE I know would wanna come chill.

3. Arizona. Before y'all start whinig about heat, AZ is coming up nice. It's a major city, WINTER DOESN'T EXIST THERE, and I have all the Mexican food I can eat.

4. Las Vegas. Not the city y'all, but the suburbs are about to be America's Next Small City Everyone Is Trying To Move To. Just watch!


Aside from all that, I'm hype this weekend because me and the guys are going to a cagefight. That's right, B Teezy is gonna check out some down home WEC type ish at the casino. We saw the billboard for this event while on the bus back from the MMAC, and tix are only $25 bucks for 8, count 'em 8 fights! That's better then Wrestlemania!!!

Ladies, I've regained my motivation for the gym. I've lost weight and I look like a washed up former athlete at the moment, but if you all need a refresher of what I looked like BEFORE OKC, and what I'll be in a few weeks, check out the video of the guy who inspired me to push steel:



Rick Rude was the MAN! He didn't give a sh*t about people booing him, and he had an insane amount of confidence bordering on obnoxious arrogance. His finishing move was LETHAL and he was a great performer (Warrior was lame at his role, while Ravishing MADE you hate him). Now you all know that wrestling is hot garbage these days. It's 90% theatre and 10% sport. How can anyone take that sh*t seriously. When I was coming up with the WWF, it was 95% sport, with just enough drama to stir sh*t up. Announcers wore tuxes, just like the boxing matches in Vegas. The wrestlers wore wrestling gear (not like today, where guys look like they just did a few reps at Bally's or just stepped off the court for a pick up game). Guys had REASONS for their beefs, now they just fight for the sake of fighting.

Anyways, that ends today's rant. I'm gonna wear a TapOut tee shirt or something so I can look badass tonight. I might get me a Latina ring girl or something. Full update tomorrow.

Eye of the Storm

This week officially counts as week two of the FAA Playoffs in OKC. We've had our heads crammed chock full of aviation goodness, with topics like aircraft separation standards, airport markings and radar/tower positions being covered. Right now, to unwind, I'm watching the 20th anniversary of the Lakers/Celtics matchup. Unwind? Why do I need to unwind? Maybe because:

-We had our first block test yesterday, in which I scored an 86%...........passing is 90%.

-Tornado season is really starting to crank up, with our instructors giving us advice about how to handle severe tornado situations (just hop in the bathtub!)

-I had an official Oklahoma welcome, when a mid-60's hilbilly asked me if I knew where he "could score some rock".

-I was propositioned at the Dollar General by a prostitute. (I'm more of a Sonic parking lot kinda dude)

-I swear I saw DJ and his girl from Hustle and Flow at the gas station.

-People at the Academy apologize profusely when I tell them I've been assigned to Cedar Rapids. Like I just told them I had ball cancer or something.

-No seriously...............Cedar F*cking Rapids? Every other kid in my class is going someplace cool. 3 going to Hawaii, a bunch going to Florida, the brothers I'm cool with going to Cali.

-My FAA housing is infamous, and is known as the worst corporate lodging in OKC. Meridian Mansions aka "the Hood". I don't know why they're upset, I mean, what's wrong with crunching on pillbug carcasses when you step into your bathroom (with the non working toilet, my "property manager" suggested I pull the stem in the tank). The shower has two working faucets "scalding" and "ice water" (depending on what the tenant upstairs is doing).

-Pillbugs aren't so bad...it's the Boll Weevils that'll get you......

-It's not the heat...its the dust.

I need to finish my Bud so I can forget today happened.....

Out of the Frying Pan...

And into this hot ass, dry weather. Don't get me wrong, this beats 60 and rainy any day back home in GTown, but what makes it so bad is that its hard to get around. As a matter of fact, it seems as if exercise is FROWNED upon down here. There are no sidewalks, no crosswalks, BBQ every 38 feet and a bus that comes as often as the Olympics do.

The Academy (all two days of it) has been pretty cool to say the least. I've always been kinda interested in aviation since I was a youngin in Memphis (and dad used to beat my butt for breaking his model planes). People have no idea how mucn of an areonautics nerd I really am. I went to Space Camp (remember that movie?) when I was nine. I can give an impromptu and thorough tour of the exhibits at the National Air and Space museum, as well as give you the names of each and every one of the Mercury Seven (10 trillion cool points to those who know who they are). I vividly remember January of 86' when Challenger went down as well as Columbia.

In class, we got a big, government looking catalog with our lesson plan in it, and it's heavy. Luckily, I met two brothers from my class that live near me on North Meridian, Carl and Tyrone ....we already had a Cavs-Wizards argument, but I found out later he's a Nupe (small world huh) so he was forgiven.

Let's see, Friday night, we hit up one of those shady looking pool halls you'd see on TV. It was weird because when we walked in, the country music stopped.....and we got "the stare" (think country bar scene from 48 hours). Nothing major happened, we played a few games, downed some brews and rolled out to watch the Celtics beat on Detroit (they refused to switch from PBR).

Didn't do anything else really....COULDN'T do anything else. I hiked to the grocery store (where they DON'T believe in plastics bags), and stayed here to get some studying in. My first test is on Thursday, so I'm gearing up for WAAAAAARRR! lol.....not really, but that's how I'm taking this one. I didn't come all the way down here to lose...I'm trying to win the belt from the FAA, and Imma make it happen. YOU WATCH!